In a world oriented around instant gratification, around seeking happiness and satisfaction, there isn’t much room for sorrow. When a friend or loved one is brave enough to admit to something like depression or anxiety, we don’t always know how to respond. When someone is sad, we feel a tension, even awkwardness. Perhaps it’s our desire to fix, to wipe away tears instead of crying along with someone who is broken. Or maybe we have been far too conditioned to seek so-called solutions to what we have been taught are problems.
Is sorrow a problem?
Is it a thing that needs fixing? Would a doctor seek to prescribe medication for it? Will an employer require some form of counseling to alleviate liability should “sorrow” be expressed? Does it create tension within a relationship that needs resolving? Why do we feel uncomfortable with it?
Maybe it’s pride. We don’t like to admit we struggle, and we certainly hate to confess that our lives look far different to what we share on Instagram. Being coached to be the best doesn’t help. Growing up an athlete myself, competition was king and weakness was a liability. Men don’t cry much less acknowledge they we sad or sorrowful. What was taught was to win at all costs, to be better than everybody else. In our culture, we celebrate winning and we forget losers. We champion those moments that bring happiness to our lives, that momentarily make us feel better about our circumstances. We don’t give awards to losers, and rarely if ever, do we use social media to admit we are weak, sad or experiencing sorrow. We have been so programmed to show no weakness, to put on a happy face and to only let the society see our “best” version of self.
Perhaps it’s because of where we grew up, because of the country we call home. America, and many empires like it, promote themselves as being the greatest. Campaign slogans are built on this idea of greatness because no politician in their right mind would make their campaign slogan “Make American Mediocre Again.” We have perpetuated an attitude of being the best or nothing. We will accept nothing less. That attitude, that prideful endeavor to promote self, permeates our culture making us pause when we contemplate the act of expressing sorrow. There is no room for it, so it is a problem that needs a quick fix.
Lamenting is Biblical
There is an entire book that is not only named for the act but contains some of the more sorrow-filled laments in scripture. Whats curious is that this was intentionally left in the canon, that it was most certainly discussed by committees, and that some found it beneficial to the narrative of God’s word. Their own motivations aside, I have to believe it is an integral part of the story of God. It is a reminder that sorrow is not a problem needing fixing, but a natural process that no one should feel shame for going through.
God is a big God, capable of hearing our laments, of holding us as we are overcome with sorrow. Our world is broken, it is evil and full of darkness. God is not unaware, and as scripture says in a number of ways, is capable of turning sorrow into gladness.
God is capable of turning sorrow into gladness…
mourning to joy…
This reminds us that there is a time to laugh, a time to cry…
There is a time and place for sorrow, and for gladness. Neither is greater than the other.
Sorrow for now
Recently I heard news that was pretty devastating to me. You can read some of it here. Basically, a recurring narrative of spiritual leaders who have morally failed continues, only this time it hit much closer to home for me. It has been a sorrow filled couple of days.
Anger…
Frustration…
Disappointment…
Disbelief…
Sorrow most of all. One day, perhaps there will be gladness. In sorrow there is healing. Sorrow is a reaction to truth and there is power within it, even if that truth is mortifying. We should not fear truth, but embrace it. We cannot simply put a filter over the picture of our life, to “post” only happiness, but accept the things we cannot change and change the things we can. Sorrow allows healing, and we need healing, especially in the midst of tragedy.
The change we can make is living intentionally counter-cultural lives. Lives that no longer accept the practice of mask-wearing, of putting on a facade, hoping other’s won’t see through to whats underneath.
Yes, terrible things happen in this world, and sometimes we would rather look the other, pretending they don’t. This will only allow lies to gain power, to let fear triumph over courage. To often we, the church and it’s leaders, have tried our best to look the other way. It’s time we look in the mirror and embrace truth, even if it hurts.
John 8:31-32 (CEB) – “Jesus said to the Jews who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teaching. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Until next time…
#Blessed
