Monday of this week I talked about fear (read about it here). Fear is a powerful thing. It can be an immobilizer, or it can be a healthy response to a serious situation. In the second chapter of my book I share some of the fear that I began to experience when the reality of becoming a Lead Pastor started to set in. Below is an excerpt from that chapter.
Take a look:
I would be sitting there watching TV and all of a sudden there would be a moment of sheer terror, “What did I get myself into?!?” This thought would often enter my brain. Am I ready for this? Can I handle this? I was less than sure.
I once lost my wallet for about two solid weeks. It turned out my daughter stashed it in a toy box, but still, only irresponsible people lose their wallets. I semi regularly forget that it’s my birthday until my wife or someone else reminds my by well wishing. I am basically an adult-sized teenage boy. I like Star Wars, a lot. I play video games. I laugh at fart jokes. When I hang out with my close friends we act like immature children. My brothers and I still argue over who is faster, stronger, smarter or any other thing you can argue about anytime we are all together.
They wanted me? Seriously? Is this what putting on your big boy pants feels like? Is this how maturity begins? Am I ready for this?
Nope, not even a little bit.
There are no classes on “how to be a lead pastor” and only a few books on the subject of which I am aware. It feels a lot like diving head first into a pool of water before checking if the water is deep enough. Kind of a “well let’s see how this goes” and a little “I hope I don’t die.” I wasn’t really scared I would die, but I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t just as scared as I contemplated being given the reins to a church. I knew I wouldn’t die, but I could kill a church. That was a sobering prospect.
I know it’s short, but thats why they call it a teaser. Check back next week for a teaser from Ch. 3 – Now What?