Here is an excerpt from Ch. 6 -: “Then I Got To Officiate My First Funeral” of The Millennial Pastor:

Before it all happened, before I put on my big boy pants, before I was officially installed as the lead pastor, I would lie awake at night and wonder how I would deal with all the firsts. It led to a lot of sleepless nights.

I had already officiated my first wedding at this point and you might think it would have been an experience that helped ease my stress, but it didn’t. I may have had one of the all-time worst slip-ups ever. I may have misspoken in my attempts at wishing the happy couple all the success in the world. Instead of saying success, I just might have said “sex-sex.”

Yeah… I said “I wish you two all the sex-sex… success in the world!”

I about died.

It wasn’t all bad. Everyone and their mother almost died with me, luckily it was out of laughter. When I say everyone and their mother I mean everyone and their mother. There were all kinds of sweet old ladies in the audience. What was most hilarious was that the person who laughed hardest was, in fact, the bride’s mother! I thought for sure all these sweet old ladies would have nothing but death stares for me. I was pleasantly surprised.

In the midst of all the commotion, I tried uttering some sort of apology but it fell on deaf ears. The bride, groom and the entire audience were about to pee themselves. I said something like “I meant to say success” and the only response was from the bride’s mother who, between giggles, bellowed, “No you didn’t, no you didn’t!” I was the brightest shade of red possible. My entire youth group just so happened to be in attendance as well. Guess what phrase they killed with excessive use? Oh, the ways in which God reminds us we are human and fallible…

Yeah, my first wedding didn’t ease my mind.

Putting My Big Boy Pants On

I was approached to do a funeral, my first ever. A slip up like that couldn’t happen. I would never be able to live it down, but more importantly, I didn’t want to ruin something that was sacred and eternal. Something that would be etched into the memories of all who were present for the rest of their lives. Something that represented our beliefs about what happens in the next life. Oh God, please don’t let me mess this up.

There you have it.

Stayed tuned because Friday we will hear about another millennial pastor’s story dealing with some profound “firsts” within his ministry. Thanks for reading!

Until next time…

Peace out!


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